Author: realmofvibes

Philanthropist

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My passion for volunteering started when I was elected the Philanthropy Chairwoman in my sorority, Alpha Sigma Tau. I was responsible for acquiring volunteer hours for all my sorority sisters. I was also responsible for organizing and conducting a blood drive for the college students and the surrounding community. I orchestrated coin-drops at local supermarkets, bake sales on campus, participated in breast cancer walks, and partnered with the local soup kitchen, in addition to other various projects.

Volunteering at the soup kitchen was a very humbling experience. The hardest part was seeing children stand in line to await their Sunday dinner. I remember going back to my dorm, plopping myself on my bed, and crying to my mom on the phone. Although I felt like I made a difference, my heart was broken and my mind was unsettled. Volunteering at the soup kitchen was not for me. I couldn’t handle my emotions, and it left me feeling terrible about society and the struggles people must endure to put food on the table. After I completed graduate school and began my career, I missed volunteering and giving back from the goodness of my heart. I wanted to do something more, something different and challenging. Ultimately, it had to make me feel good. I wanted to volunteer with an organization that kept me coming back for more…

I researched an array of different possibilities, mentioning to my husband that we should volunteer for an organization. He agreed, thinking it would be a good way to spend time with one another and to give back to our community.

After we rescued Bailey, my wheels started turning.

“Hey Jay, we are going to foster puppies.” I said as I sipped my fourth glass of wine. He thought I was crazy, and probably thought the wine was talking, but I was serious, so we embarked on the fostering roller coaster ride together.

I picked up our first foster puppy in April 2016 and have since become a very active volunteer. I organize fundraising events and donation drives, and assist with adoptions and veterinary visits. Ten of my foster dogs have been adopted to forever homes. I am hoping my eleventh foster dog, Heath, the one that played dead, is adopted before the end of January.

Everyone has the capability to make a difference. I challenge you to become a philanthropist in 2017. Here are some tips for getting started:

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Money vs. Time

First decide whether you want to donate money or volunteer your time. If you want to donate money, pick one or two charities you feel strongly about, and research where the money is being spent. If you choose time, research their and your expectations, and make sure you can uphold your commitment. Fostering dogs is a combination of time and money. Time is paramount when training a foster dog to be a lovable, adoptable, well-behaved canine. The rescue supplies the basics, but we purchase additional items. All the items we purchase for our foster dog are tax deductible.

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Bailey, my rescue dog

What’s Important to You?

I chose fostering because I feel strongly about rescuing dogs opposed to breeding. I chose to help with fundraising and donation drives because non-profit organizations work hard to be sustainable, and little gestures make a great impact. I like seeing results, and with fostering and helping with the rescue, I constantly see progress, which makes me feel like I am valued and my time is being utilized effectively.

Awareness

Get your family, friends, and coworkers involved. Bring awareness to the organization in which you are helping, and others may join the fun. Many charities don’t have funds for advertising, so word of mouth and posting on social media can really help an organization get noticed.

Be Productive

My closing sentiment is a quotation by Mahatma Gandhi, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

In 2017, pick something that is meaningful to you, and donate monetarily, your time, or both. You could also attend fundraising events for causes you support; that would be of minimal cost and time.

If we all chose to be productive, and gave a little of ourselves to the greater good, the world would be a much happier, healthier place.

Namaste.

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Preparing for Lake Placid

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I hate the cold and never participated in any winter sports besides building a snowman. Even then I would run inside, take a hot shower, make some hot cocoa, and sit with a book by the fireplace. My husband has been talking about going on a ski vacation for the past six years. I explained that between an old right knee surgery and having Raynaud’s phenomenon, I wasn’t exactly thrilled on sliding down a mountain in the freezing cold. Alas, Jason’s birthday is in the beginning of January. I strive to make him a happy husband. One of the reasons why I married him is because he pushes me to do new things and to break through the barriers I often place on myself. Although I am a little scared to ski, I try not to let fear and apprehension be a limiting factor in my life. (I was afraid of dogs, remember?) So, I booked Golden Arrow Lakeside Resort on Groupon and told him we are going skiing for his birthday. He went to his parent’s house and collected his ski gear from their basement. I, on the other hand, didn’t even have a waterproof jacket. Here is some information I compiled while preparing for our trip…

Gear

I will be renting my skis, boots, poles, and helmet. Jason has his skis and boots, and will be renting poles and a helmet. We are purchasing ski goggles on Amazon. They have many different types and styles of gear, way outside my scope of skiing knowledge, but we did consider renting skis and poles in our home state, and transporting the equipment up to Lake Placid. We opted against that decision since I am a beginner, and I rather use the gear that they provide me should anything malfunction. For those that have some experience, you may find it more financially beneficial to rent gear locally and transport to your destination, or purchase your own gear. They also have websites where they can ship your gear straight to your hotel.

Dress

This is the most important for me since I don’t tolerate the cold well. Start with a base layer. I love Under Armour’s ColdGear. I have a mock long sleeved waterproof base layer that will wick away sweat and keep me warm. The next layer is a fleece layer, to provide extra warmth. Then, you want a waterproof jacket, or shell. My in-laws purchased me the Columbia Bugaboo jacket (pictured below), which has a fleece layer and a waterproof shell. It is incredibly warm and my new favorite winter jacket.

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On your bottom half, you either want a snow bib or snow pants. Make sure they have insulation and are waterproof. My sister-in-law purchased the Columbia Bugaboo snow pants for me for Christmas. They are super comfortable. You must not forget your ski gloves. You want them to have a drawstring so you could pull them tightly around your wrist to not allow snow inside. I found an inexpensive pair at BJs, and they provide the warmth and are waterproof.

Wool socks that are breathable, warm and odor fighting are imperative for skiing. They are around $17, but will be well worth keeping my feet warm on the slopes. Don’t forget to protect your neck. A balaclava ski mask protects your neck and most of your face. Some people buy a wool buff or neck gaiter. I am opting for more coverage, so I will be wearing a balaclava.

Trails, Lifts & Lessons

Know the mountain in which you are skiing. I look at trails and conditions, and research what days and times are available to take ski lessons. Lessons are highly recommended for beginners. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing and genuinely concerned for my safety, so I want a professional to show me the basics. Lift tickets can also generally be purchased online. Check websites often to stay updated.

Extras

20170107_173743You better believe I will be bringing hand and foot warmers. Keeping warm is my number one priority. I am also bringing Gu Energy Gel, mini Clif bars, sunscreen, and pocket tissues. These will be kept in my Bugaboo’s pockets while we are on the mountain.

Plan B

God willing, I will ski and have a wonderful time. YOLO, right? If skiing isn’t my thing, we have Plan B. Lake Placid offers a plethora of activities including snow shoeing, ice skating, bob sledding, and tubing. We have been researching some activities at Mt. Van Hoevenberg, too.

We picked Golden Arrow Lakeside Resort since it has great amenities (indoor pool, hot tub, sauna, steam baths) and boutique shopping adjacent to the hotel.  It will be nice after a day of activity to relax. Golden Arrow is right on Mirror Lake, which offers dog sledding. I love dogs, so this will hopefully be checked off my Plan B list.

I have also scoped out some places for grub and brewskis. The Lake Placid Pub and Brewery is on our must-go list.

Advice

What is your advice for a first-time skier? For someone who has never ventured to Lake Placid? Provide some of your own tidbits in the comments below.

I have a feeling this trip will be unforgettable, hopefully in a good way!

Namaste.

KiKi

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KiKi after her first bath ever

I had a slice of American cheese in my hand. I was laying prone down my foyer stairs trying to coax KiKi, my Akita/Belgian Malinois foster dog up the stairs.

The owner of the rescue came to my house with her Suburban full of dogs. She wanted to make sure that whichever dog she gave me got along with my dog, Bailey. When I met KiKi, she pressed herself up against the crate, indicating she was scared and not wanting to leave her safety zone. I turned to the rescue owner and said “You get her out! I’m not! She’s going to bite my face off!” With lots of coaxing, a calm voice, treats, and gentile manhandling, KiKi was free from the confines of the crate and on a leash. We took a quick walk to make sure her and Bailey were friendly enough to be off leash in the backyard. Bailey ambushed her, but KiKi looked to Bailey as a big sister, showing her the ropes of our palace.

KiKi was a dog from the South. I knew nothing of her background, so I formulated a story in my head. KiKi was an outside dog, she was never inside a home because she didn’t know how to go up and down stairs. A toy was a foreign object, one that peaked her interest, but she would approach cautiously, unsure of the toy’s intentions. She didn’t trust humans, either. Whoever had her, was a prick. She wanted nothing more to be outside. That is no life for a dog. Bailey, Ace, and Jack (my furfamily) are treated better than some humans. I love them more than myself.

The first night with KiKi was one for the books. We live in a bi-level, so stairs are a necessary evil. There is 7 steps to the front door. Once inside, you can either take 7 steps upstairs or 5 steps downstairs. KiKi entered through the downstairs entrance, and that is where she remained. She was not going anywhere near the stairs. She went outside and inside through the downstairs entrance only. I thought to myself, “How can I turn this outside dog into an inside dog?” She wasn’t fond of the crate (again, outside dog mentality), so I laid a warm red blanket down for her on the floor. She wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t drink water, and would just stare at me, as if to say, “What am I doing here?” I was heartbroken. She looked so sad. She wanted nothing that I had to offer. I slept with her on the red blanket. I just felt like she needed someone on her side, to know that I was there, with her food and water, and that we were going to get things right. She was in my care, and I was going to protect her and get her adopted to a good home.

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KiKi & Bailey, the Queens of the Castle

One of the most challenging things I had to do was teach KiKi to go up and down the stairs. Not only did we have to master the inside stairs, but we had to master both sets of outside stairs. I think I learn something new every time I have a foster dog that can’t do something. I tried putting Pupperonis on each step. No cigar. She would just eat the treats on the first two steps and then run away. I tried having Bailey be the example. “See! Look. Bailey! Come.” Bailey would run up the stairs and I would give her a pet and a treat. KiKi would whimper in disgust and aggravation. I tried placing her gently on the steps, in which she would shake, and it no longer became a positive, happy experience. So, I laid prone on the steps with cheese in hand, and Bailey next to me for moral support. Nope. She wouldn’t budge. I got Jason to lay prone and hold cheese, and I guided her legs up the stairs. Finally, she did it. And we practiced, and practiced, and practiced some more. Two hours later and we had KiKi running up and down the stairs. Positive reinforcement. Success. It took another day to teach her how to go up and down the outside steps. Baby steps.

KiKi had an application for adoption. The man walked many miles each day and wanted a dog to walk well with his dog. KiKi, thankfully, was amazing on a leash. After almost six days with me, she was a new dog. She pranced. She slapped her paws against the ground, happy to be alive. She saw me get the leash out of the closet and would run down the stairs by the door. I loved taking her on walks because we were both in our happy place; me, getting my exercise outdoors, and her prancing down the street, sassy as ever.

I don’t know the rest of KiKi’s story. Some of the adopters and I keep in touch through text messaging or social media facets, but KiKi’s life is a mystery. Last I heard, her family loved her, and that she was walking miles each day, happily, with her canine sibling.

Whether it takes me two hours guiding a foster dog up the stairs to get her to the American cheese prize or sleeping on a blanket on the floor, I will do anything to make these dogs feel safe, happy, and alive. I get unconditional love, and gratitude for life, and they get the skills they need to become an adoptable, well behaved canine companion. Happy trails, KiKi. Win-win for all.

Namaste.

2017

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I wish everyone a happy & healthy 2017.

My thoughts for this year: Open your mind. Embrace change. 2017 is a clean slate. Today is Day 1 of 365. Be productive. Adopt a dog. Volunteer your time. Donate your pennies, or millions. Take a chance. Fear is a useless emotion. Believe in yourself, and humanity. It will be okay. Read something interesting and write something powerful. Share your story. People want to hear you. Support an organization that challenges and fulfills you. Don’t stop believing in yourself. Laugh until your belly hurts. Smile. Get outside. Enjoy the fresh air. Take a deep breath. Life is good.

Realm of Vibes has a new page, Collaborate, to feature businesses, companies, and brands. Check it out. I am ecstatic that within three weeks of starting my blog, I have the support of a small business owner. Her products will be featured in the near future.

When I started blogging, a gentleman e-mailed me and told me to keep at it, to never quit, and that I can do anything I put my mind to… he told me to stay positive, be happy, and live free. I re-read that email daily. Words are powerful.

Thank you for supporting Realm of Vibes. My dream has become a reality.

Namaste.

So, when are you going to have kids?

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“So, when are you going to have kids?”

“I don’t know. When are you going to lose weight?”

I’ve never said that, but I’ve wanted to…

Let’s try that again…

“So, when are you going to have kids?”

“I have furkids. A dog, sometimes a foster dog, and two cats.”

That’s more like my response.

On April 10, I will turn 30. On April 11, we will have been married for 3 years.

I have a dog, Bailey, a foster dog, and two cats, Jack and Ace. Right now, they are my furchildren. When people ask me when I am going to have human children, I answer their question depending on my mood.

I fluctuate between wanting to be a mother and wanting to remain childless. I look at my life now, bound only by my husband and animals. My mother, mother-in-law, or pet sitter could watch Bailey on short notice. My aunt loves cat-sitting. My husband can fend for himself if I go away with friends for a weekend. A child, however, needs more than a daily walk, litter box change, and food in a bowl. The career and Master’s degree I worked so hard for (and am still paying off) would put on pause to stay home and raise a child. I’m not one for day care; why bother since the cost wouldn’t even be worth me going to work. I never pictured myself jobless and financially dependent on my husband. I like to earn my own money and support myself. I can’t imagine being in my house all day, tending to a child and animals, cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. I would go stir-crazy. No way. I’m already crazy. Then, I think about holding my baby in my arms, watching he or she grow and develop, and giving my parents and in-laws grandchildren. I think about the sleepless nights and poopy diapers, but the smiles, laughter, and endless amount of love might surpass rearranging my life and becoming a real housewife. I think parents call it unconditional love. Every morning I see a woman with a double stroller and her two dogs, jogging, and I think to myself, She is an awesome mom. She looks amazingly fit. She has 2 dogs and 2 kids. I can be her.

I look at the moms that I work with, and most of them seem overworked and overwhelmed. They are always on the phone in the closet or bathroom talking to the guidance counselor about Shawn’s D in geometry class or Kelly’s F in gym class. Some of them watch their nanny cams intently during their lunch break. I hear about day care nightmares and how little Abby is sick, once again. They sometimes share achievements and other developmental milestones, but most the time it focuses around what they must do (homework, doctor’s appointments, activities etc.), as if it were an inconvenience. When I mention how miserable they sound, usually they go into some story about how hard being a mother is, but how they love it and wouldn’t change it for the world. Having a kid sounds like a mixed bag.

I look at the adults without children and they seem happy, and content with not having children, but I always get a sense of worry when future planning is discussed. “Who is going to take care of me? I’m going to wind up in a nursing home.”  The childless adults are the people that I see have less wrinkles, more free time, take several extravagant vacations, have the most amazing gadgets, and are current on the latest trends. They seem a lot more relaxed but I sometimes see sadness and apprehension about the future.

My opinions on having children fluctuates day to day.  I have contemplated having none, being one-and-done and having two+ kids. Twins run in my family and sometimes I pray to God to give me a boy and girl, the ultimate two for one deal.

When asked: “When are you going to have kids?” these questions run through my head: What if I can’t get pregnant? What if we have problems? Why do people ask me this stupid, personal, invasive question? I don’t want to do IVF. Maybe we should start trying. Maybe we should wait until next year. What do I really want? I don’t know what I want. Maybe, I’m just not ready. Will I ever be ready? Shouldn’t I want to have a kid? I am a woman! I have a time clock. I don’t want to be an old mom. I’ll be happy, no matter what, right? And the chatter continues…

Take that question and remove it from your repertoire. If you can help it, let the undecided woman be. Let her decide in her own time and her own way what is right for her.

Whatever is meant to be, will happen. Whether I have none, one, two, twins, or three+, life will continue.

“So, when are you going to have kids?”

“Maybe tonight, maybe next week, maybe next month, maybe next year, maybe never.”

Namaste.